Lions, Tigers, and Bears

I can’t remember if I’ve told you this one before, so stop me if I have.  A few years ago K and I drove from Albuquerque, New Mexico to a little town in Colorado close to Aspen.  We were there for some introspection and time away.  While the scenery was lovely, I had been white-knuckled for most of the drive due to how close the road was to the side of the mountain.  We drove higher and higher into the mountains and the drop became more intense, and in this part of Colorado, there were no guard rails. Despite the elevation, we enjoyed our trip and as night fell, we had almost reached our destination.  Several miles before, I had begun to see wildlife signs with, “Watch for Bears,” “Moose Crossing” and the like.  I was pretty excited about seeing wildlife alive and its natural habitat, when suddenly in the darkness, I saw the amber reflection of animal eyes and I yelled at K to turn around. I’m not sure why, but I was immediately convinced that I had spotted a mountain lion. Why a mountain lion? I don’t really know; there weren’t signs posted for mountain lions, and I’d had about 2 seconds to come to my conclusion, but I was convinced. We whipped a quick u-turn on the deserted country road and whizzed back to see the mountain lion, which was really a cow eating grass in a ditch. Imagine my bitter disappointment.

This is a similar story to the time that I saw a shark when we were on vacation in South Carolina that was really a dolphin, but that story is for another time. Laters.

Lovey Dovey

Because I often think about weird things, I’ve thought a lot about this: if by one death (yours) salvation came to many, would you voluntarily lay down your life? I could say a pretty strong “yes” for my kids, a shaky “yes” for family members, and an “I hope I’m that big of a person” for the rest of humanity.

Romans 5:7-9 states: “We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him. Now that we are set right with God by means of this sacrificial death, the consummate blood sacrifice, there is no longer a question of being at odds with God in any way.” For me, understanding Scripture is realizing how I can best apply/interpret them for my life. I thought about this verse today and as I tend to be an object lesson learner, this is what I got.

K says that his song for me is “Wave on Wave” by Pat Green. (I’ll post the lyrics below) One line states, “Am I the one you were sent to save?” And I feel like that; he is the one. The one I was sent to save, the one I am supposed to be with. And in doing so, sometimes I have given up everything to be that salvation. Love in the good times is as easy as falling off a log, but love in difficulty is another matter all together.  Often when we choose to love, we consciously choose to die to ourselves by giving that love to another, even when they aren’t good and noble; even when they don’t deserve to be loved. Even when they let us down and are of no use to us in a literal sense.  Love works perfectly just like that. I don’t pretend to understand the concept, but I like it, I like laying it all down to rescue the “one” and I like receiving the same splendid love in return.  Laters.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJWnIFlYKjs 

Wave On Wave

Pat Green

Mile upon Mile I got no direction. 
We’re all playing the same game 
We’re all looking for redemption 
Just afraid to say the name 
So caught up now in pretending 
What we’re seeking is the truth 
I’m just look for a happy ending 
All I’m looking for is you 
It came upon me wave on wave 
You’re the reason I’m still here 
Am I the one you were sent to save? 
It came upon me wave on wave 
I wandered out into the water 
I thought that I might drown 
I don’t know what I was after 
Just know that I was going down 
That’s when she found me 
I’m not afraid anymore 
She said, you know I always had ya baby 
Just waiting for you to find what you were looking for 
It came upon me wave on wave 
You’re the reason I’m still here 
Am I the one you were sent to save? 
It came upon me wave on wave 
Wave on wave 
Wave on wave 
The clouds broke and the angels cried 
You ain’t gotta walk alone 
That’s why he put me in your way 
You came upon wave on wave 
It came upon me wave on wave 
You’re the reason I’m still here 
Am I the one you were sent to save? 
It came upon me wave on wave

Bad DOG!!

Last night, we guesstimate that our dog ate up to 12 Hershey Kisses. K brought her upstairs to me and said, “Guess what she just did? She ate 12 HERSHEY KISSES!!”  Holly (the dog) snuffled in her endearing way, pretty much clueless to the fact that I reminded her about. Me: “Holly, you dummy! Chocolate can kill dogs!!”  (Again, picture her cute, hairy, and unconcerned)

The real culprit; our darling daughter, always the completer of tasks, long before they are due and her bag of prematurely finished Valentines for her class, left untended in the floor. Each Valentine had a special note and included a fun size bag of 3 Kisses. This special bag of goodies was left next to her backpack ready to be taken to school. The mudroom door was open and Holly managed to tear into the bag and gorge herself on chocolate.

After reading about chocolate online, (luckily milk chocolate is less toxic than dark, see here-Doggy Chocolate Chart) converting ounces of Kisses to her weight, and gauging her behavior, we decided to wait it out to see if she displayed any symptoms. She didn’t.  I feel fortunate that she is ok for several reasons, one- we like having her around and two- the only thing worse than a midnight trip to the E.R. is a midnight trip to the doggy E.R.

Laters.

Winter Wonderland Or Something

Snow and more snow, I felt a tinge of the Donner party madness coming on me last night after a long snow day when the kids were being super loud and emitting teen pheromones in my personal space. Luckily (for them) no one was eaten. We settled for salad and mac & cheese instead.

After a week of self-reflection for the upcoming year, I’ve decided a few things:

1.      I still need that tummy tuck
2.      I need a project or cause to work  on, something that motivates me passionately
3.      I would gauge myself as aware of my issues, overcoming some and working on a few (don’t question my evaluation process- it’s very complex)
4.      One can never get the space between in hard wood floors really clean
5.       I need a new mattress-I’m thinking a memory foam or sleep number
6.      Waiting on things is very, very hard
7.      So is not knowing
8.       Peace in spite of all the unknown is the icing on my cupcake (and boy do I love icing)

Here’s hoping that sunny days are here to stay to melt all this snow. (I know, I know, snow in the forecast for tonight but a girl can dream, right?) Laters.

This Reminds Me........

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40885541/ns/us_news-life/?gt1=43001

I saw this on MSN the other day and it reminded me of a funny experience I had growing up.

The year was 1988 and I was rocking a spiral perm and a pair of leg warmers. Or maybe my dad’s old trench coat and a pair of black combat boots; I was always pushing the envelope of fashion. In our Christian community, the small paperback version of “88 Reasons Why The Rapture Will Be In 1988” was making the circuit. Not that we were believers in the theory personally, but my dad liked to have his hands on the hot sheets as it were, to form his own opinions. The pros and cons, the possibility of accuracy was weighed in on by the faithful at many of the small bible studies held at my parent’s dining room table. I alternated between dreamy dozing on the couch and blatant eavesdropping on conversations I could only understand pieces of; though the parts I heard were enough to worry me. Based on my imperfect information, I began to worry that I would be left behind in the rapture.
The day of the predicted rapture dawned, and I woke apprehensively, tuning my ear so that I could hear the trumpet just in case the angel sounded. I gave myself a few testing sort of jumps to be certain that I could leap heaven bound at a moment’s notice if called upon. My parents were surprisingly blasé about the whole thing and didn’t mention it at all. Honestly, the day passed pretty uneventfully, until I got home from school. My mother was a stay at home mom. When I say, stay at home. I mean that she stayed there. She rarely went out, and hardly ever in the middle of the day. I suspect now that she spent most of her time taking naps and eating bonbons, but I can’t prove it. Throughout the day, I had been doing surreptitious checks on other kids that I thought might make the rapture too, just to make sure they hadn’t been called away without me noticing. When school ended, we were all present and accounted for and my brothers and I rode the school bus home.
Instead of the usual hustle and bustle of our home, dead silence greeted us at the front door. We let ourselves in and when I saw the vacuum cleaner standing all alone in the middle of the floor in mid sweep, I knew it, my mother was gone and I had missed it. The Lord had taken her up right then and there as she vacuumed. My brothers and I went around the darkened house calling in vain for our mother, who had clearly gone on with Jesus leaving us behind to fend for ourselves. As oldest, I didn’t want to let on to them what a mess we were in so I encouraged everyone to have a snack while I thought about what to do. I sat bemused on the couch for a while, wondering how such an event had transpired without my knowledge and what I could do to fix the situation. But then, sweeter than candy, the most welcome sound in of all my 15 years, I heard the sound of the turning door knob as my mother returned from her mysterious errand. We were saved! Laters.

Under the Influence

Sometimes when you have cancer, kind people from the hospital will call and match you with a “cancer angel.” Cancer angels are like minded in their suffering, breast to breast, pancreas to pancreas, throat to throat, if you catch my drift. It is a mentor who has been there, done that, to walk you through all the difficult decisions and tell you that things will work out just fine. I signed up for my cancer angel hoping to find someone who had faced my decision of mastectomy versus lumpectomy and lived to tell about it. I wanted someone who could give me a little information to sway me towards the decision that I needed to make. As it turns out, I had to think about my decision rather quickly and without any help at all from my cancer angel, I decided to go for the lumpectomy and pray that the outcome was good.


I think that I have mentioned this before, but while anesthesia and I are good friends and well acquainted, when we go out, I’m not left standing at the end. After arriving home from the procedure, still heavily sedated, I dozed in my room, essentially unaware of the comings and goings of my friends and family, my phone rang. I couldn’t tell you why I answered it, but I did, perking out a gravelly hello, that would have done a chain smoking truck driver proud. It was my cancer angel calling to chat with me and answer any questions I might have about my upcoming treatments. With a tongue that felt a mile long and twice as thick, I proceeded to explain to her that I had just returned from surgery not two hours before. She seemed taken aback and sweetly stated that she would call me back at a more convenient time. I kindly told her that it was a fine time for to talk, it wasn’t like I was going anywhere and using careful words and speaking slowly I began to share my story. I imagine that on her end, she felt the similar amusement a police officer experiences when pulling over a drunk driver while listening to proclamations of innocence, slurred speech, the painstaking use of signals, and driving 5 mph in the fast lane. I told her all about my diagnoses, my tests, my vacation, my surgery, any anything else I deemed appropriate for at the time. She listened, making commiserating noises at all the right times and when I couldn’t hold my eyes open or the phone any longer, she told me to feel better soon and said goodbye. I am now very embarrassed by all my ramblings and while I haven’t heard again from my angel, I suppose that times like those are what angels are here for. Laters.

Til We Meet Again

I am wallowing in laziness. I don't expect to post much the rest of the year. I am spending time enjoying my family and health. Since I'm done with cancer stuff, not much exciting is happening any way, so don't think I'm holding out on you. I love Christmas time- this year has been a treat too as I have gone all digital. I'm shopping online and with a click of the mouse, it's all delivered. Now I can just go to the mall, try to find a parking spot and fight the crowds just for fun, not because I need anything. I hope your holidays are spectacular and blessed with warm fires, lovely presents, family, and kisses under the mistletoe. See you in  2011. Oh, and if I do get the urge to post, read this one last. Laters.