All The News That’s Fit To Print

Too much information about David Carradine in the news. I doubt that anyone really cares about his weird sexual proclivities that much and I am sure that he never meant to have them paraded out in the media. It is all over my head since my weirdest sex devices are wearing ratty t-shirts to bed after eating a bowl of pickles. I do occasionally claim a headache as well just to keep things spicy.

Also, I never want anyone to ever mention the names Heidi or Spencer again in the same sentence. They used their 15 minutes long ago.

I also would like less airplane crashes, shootings, bombs exploding in crowded places, and less about those who abuse children.

Things I would like to see more of in the news are:

Stories about any of the following-

1. Fuzzy bunnies
   
2. Fuzzy kittens
   
3. Fuzzy ducks, etc.
   
4. State fair reports like biggest tomato, pig or watermelon
   
5. Listings of major shoe sales
   
6. Free coffee locations
   
7. Baby strollers rescued from rolling downhill
   
8. Random acts of kindness
   
9. Positive stories about human dignity
   
10. The police blotter- I love it!
    
11. Listing of patent applications
    
12. Occasional unflattering shots from Star magazine of celebrities
    
13. Excerpts from wonderful novels to make me want to buy the book
    
14. Beach conditions in Maui
    

That is my tiny, newspaper in a nutshell. Laters.