I remember the trip we took one summer to Colorado. At that time, it was just me and K and the boys; two little brown nuts in the backseat. Those were the days of sippy cups and binkys and I remember driving alongside a river with the windows down, Kev’s hand on my leg as the radio blared and the boys napped in their car seats in the dying summer sun, all of us sunburned, but blissfully happy. I thought to myself, “Life could never be better than this.” And it was, better, I mean. But it was worse too, and sometimes the worse went on for miles and miles before the better ever came to town. It was both, good and bad, happy and sad, the perpetual juxtaposition of the way things are. I came to realize that life is the thing that puts the grey in your hair and the ache in your back, but it is also the thing that crinkles the corners of eyes into laugh lines, bringing depth and dimension to the once unmarked face. I begin to see that life had happened to me, that things had changed me, that I am rearranged; I am different, things are different, things are new. And then I wasn’t nostalgic for the old times, I wanted these times, the present, the life that is here and now.
K resigned from his position a few weeks ago, and just like that, I was footloose and fancy free. Church and the Sunday service have been the focus of my every weekend for as long as I can recall and I confess, I hardly know what to do with myself, but I am giving it an honest effort. Where was I this week while the holy hullabaloo I know as church was happening? Swim suited-lying on a lawn chair in my backyard, eating watermelon, making daisy chains with my daughter. Who had a better day; those with the three songs and a sermon option or me? It’s hard to tell, but I was certainly enjoying myself. God truly abides in those places where we least expect him.
Life seems determined to bring me the delights that I never anticipated. In fact, it is safe to say that so far on the journey, nothing has been what I expected. But as “they” say, (man, don’t you just wish you knew who “they” was? I’d sure like to smack them) life is a beautiful ride. And it has been and continues to be. Why, if my life weren’t so crazy, I would be bored and I would hate that. Laters.
You write a beautiful story! I enjoy reading it.
ReplyDeleteI agree totally Haus, in some ways the past(ie Paoli) seems forever ago. But then again, I do not think of myself as a thirty(something) in the same way we viewed thirtyish when we were running to Sonic and Mazzios. ;)
ReplyDeleteI do realize how carefree we were and we didnt even realize it, how our worries at that time were not as worrisome as we thought. Love Ya!Mendy(not anonymous--but I dont have an acct)