Everyone On My Train Is Weird Except For Me

Who am I to say anything if you want to wear a white plastic raincoat on a non-rainy day and breathe loudly through your nose while you read work reports?


Who am I to say a word when you look at me condescendingly as you wait to get off at your stop, and all the while your suit jacket is firmly tucked into the back of your pants.

I won’t look when you pick your nose and roll your prize around for a while, just for fun.

I’ll turn a blind eye and the other cheek when you hit me in the head with your overstuffed briefcase without saying “sorry.” I am sure that you have much more important things to do than apologize for being jerk.

You like rap? Hey, I like rap! So it is good that we can listen to it together from your headphones. You, in your seat near the bathrooms and me in the next car, but the bass line is still crystal clear. And I’m down with that.

You know who you are, sweater-knitter lady. You know it is better to give than to receive; and you are doing your best to keep all the nieces and nephews flush with mufflers and stocking caps, not to mention your crazy multi-colored sweaters. Where do you find those yarn combinations anyway? Knit one, purl two, I am crazy jealous of your mad skills.

You who are not afraid to sleep on the train; we salute you. The thought of snoring and drooling in front of complete strangers doesn’t deter your from your much needed nap on the way in to the salt mines and I for one, admire your plucky fortitude.

Laters.