Would you like some scary honesty? Yes? Ok, good, I thought so. I am ignoring those of you who said, “no, not really” anyway. Today I had surgery jealousy. As the blue-jacketed volunteer whisked K away for his turn with the warm blankets and happy medicine, I felt a twinge of jealousy. I realized that I like warm ginger ale and stale soda crackers and the pre-op repeating of my name 3 times to verify who I am and what procedure I am having. Warm blankets and fuzzy socks with non-slip feet are kinda my thing and they are in wicked abundance in the O.R. I like all the fawning and attention and push-button nurse calls. Rolling in bed, right to my destination, all while wearing a bouffant cap and backless gown is just alright with me.
While K had all the fun in the back, I had to sit in the very cold waiting room, sipping mediocre coffee. Right next to the sniffling lady furiously crocheting a blanket. (You all know how I feel about crocheting) I was also forced to watch Regis and Kelly and The View, shows which rank as high on my torture list as water-boarding. If ever I have a choice of patient or designated driver, I know which one I am choosing. Laters.
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