I hate it when I don’t know what to wear. I have been invited to a party where the instructions are, “wear your favorite team’s jersey.” For me that would be a great big, “whaaa?” I have no favorite team. I have no jerseys. None. At all. How can I be an American, how can I be a human, how can I exist without a favorite team? I have sincerely felt like a big loser all day.
I did attend a hockey game last week where I ate an awesome hotdog, but having a good dog really isn’t the same thing as being a fan is it? I have tried, believe me, to be all sporty and stuff. I have joined softball teams, tried volleyball, played beach football, but instead of getting awesome playing time, I am mostly asked politely not to ever, ever come back. And even after 16 years of marriage and too many football games to count, I still don’t understand the rules, the downs and the penalty declining. (I, personally, would always decline a penalty) K can’t believe that I am that dumb, but just ask him about D-Gate.
Oh, I am in such a quandary. If only shopping were an organized sport. Laters.
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