Koctopus

Last night, I was attacked by the Koctopus. This is indeed a fearsome creature and it is most often seen between the hours of: OMG, I just got into the best sleep of my life and 4 am. The Koctopus has disheveled hair, crazy eyes, a slight case of morning breath and never remembers the attack in the morning. The nocturnal Koctopus detests sleeping on their side of the bed and must constantly have a body part, even just a pinkie toe, firmly touching the other occupant.
The normal assault mode of the Koctopus is to lurk about until their prey is completely comatose in la-la land and then sneak up from behind for the strangle attack. Once you have been engulfed in the arms of the Koctopus- don’t think for a minute that you can escape. Oh no, you are doomed to lie crushed and broken as its constrictor-like coils engulf you, cutting off breath and circulation until you die. I once heard tale of a girl who escaped its wiry grasp by pleading, “I have to go to the bathroom,” but that was long ago and I have no way to verify that information.
As for me, I have found that oftentimes a sharp elbow to the ribs does much to discourage the Koctopus, much like the sage advice about punching a shark in the nose, but it does tend to leave the Koctopus disoriented and disgruntled, so is not always worth the risk.
I am happy to say that I survived the attack by giving the Koctopus the magic “stink eye” and have escaped with only minor cuts and bruises and a slight case of drowsy. Laters.